I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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