he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
