sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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