This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
