I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
