I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
