how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
