I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize