I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How does it feel to date your dad?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
