you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
