You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
