your thong is hanging out like whoa
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
