it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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