Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize