an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
