That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
