You smell like a Billy Joel song
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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