Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
