so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
