he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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