At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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