Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
