whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
