Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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