I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
