why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize