i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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