hell yes lets make some ravioli
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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