how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize