i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
