I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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