No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want her autograph on my taint
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i now understand why vodka
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
