dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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