Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
