You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
