I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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