i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack