the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.