Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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