You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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