Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
