ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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