I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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