Can Purell be used as lube?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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