What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
