So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Boobs speak an international language.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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