It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
