Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
