thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
