thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
