Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
