Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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