Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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