yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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