so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
