I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize