just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
