So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
