Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
