It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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