You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
