oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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