how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
