Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
