My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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