How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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