There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
