you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
