I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
