You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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