the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
