he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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