I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
