there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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