I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
