I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
