Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
