Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Randomize
